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Through my work with rescue organizations I started taking un-adoptable dogs into my care in order to change their behaviors and make them adoptable. I had great confidence and had many successes until Ally came to me...

Ally was a beautiful adolescent yellow Labrador Retriever, one of the prettiest I had ever seen. She had been in several foster homes and was aggressive around food and toys. Her play with other dogs was rough and sometimes resulted in aggression.

I began working with her on the food and toy aggression and was making progress when it happened that we were at the park with friends. Ally was separated from the adults and children by a fence. She enjoyed the attention of the adults that approached her, but each time a child would approach she became aggressive and clearly (if loose) would hurt them.

I discussed this with the rescue organization that owned her, and we agreed that it would be irresponsible to endanger any child by ever allowing Ally to be adopted out.

The rescue worker offered to pick her up and do the ugly deed of having her destroyed. I felt that if I were going to work in the arena of dog rescue, then I had to face the reality of finding a way to balance the dual role of helping dogs while meeting my responsibility of community safety. I refused to take the easy way out.

I have put sick and injured dogs to sleep before and was quite confident in my ability to deal with the situation. I and one of my helpers took Ally to the vet. The required forms were signed, and I was sent outside to wait for an available attendant to come and get the dog. Feeling like we should make Ally's last moments pleasant, we all played and rolled around on the grass. We petted and hugged her and as we did I began to see how much she trusted us in a way I had not seen before.

The feelings of guilt and remorse began to overwhelm me.

Why wasn't I a better dog trainer? Why couldn't I save her? Could anyone have prevented this soft, beautiful creature with eyes that could melt your heart from ending up being discarded and destroyed? I cried and begged for her forgiveness, again and again and again. I knew in my mind that Ally could not be allowed to hurt anyone. But I knew in my heart that this could have been prevented. I did my duty and gave Ally to the attendant. The attendant did her duty and took Ally from me. The veterinary hospital did their duty and killed her.

I continued to work with at risk dogs but could not get over Ally. What I had done haunted me. I wanted answers but who was I to question the system. I wanted to save dogs yet I was working within a system that expected me to kill them. Ally was once a cute puppy that raised properly would have made a loving companion pet. Well, if I was expected to clean up the mess that someone else made, then I had the right to do something about it.

No, I had the responsibility to do something about it.

That is what I am now doing, taking responsibility. If the best kind of learning is experiential, then my experience has taught me that things have to change. The system has to change. I have to change it.

The events in this story gave birth to the non-profit organization Last Chance for Love Animal Rescue and Rehabilitation. Please visit lclrr.org to see how you can help to change the world for dogs like Ally.

Keywords: dogs, dog training, rescue dogs, dog adoptions

About the Author
Eleanor Scheidemann, Sacramento, CA
trainme@thedoglady.org