Forgiving others is not always as easy as it sounds. When someone has truly hurt us or a member of our family forgiving them sounds like the hardest task in life. Letting go is not easy, but the power of forgiveness is the peace and comfort that comes after a painful situation.
It would be so much easier if someone else could show us exactly how to forgive and then all the pain and suffering would be magically gone. But, forgiveness doesn't work that way. It is something we have to experience personally.
In the process of forgiveness, we sometimes experience deep anger or even hate toward the other person. Dr. Linda Miles, marriage expert, reminds us that hate has no medicine. Dr. Miles recalls, "There is an African proverb that cautions, 'Hate has no medicine.' When you hold on to anger it is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. As a psychotherapist for over 30 years I have seen so much suffering from a lack of forgiveness of self or others. Forgiveness is a process.
"I recall seeing a young woman named Jana who was instructed to 'just forgive' her husband for his affair with a co-worker as if she could instantaneously get over it. This notion backfired since she could not deny her feelings of rage and betrayal. The advise to 'just get over it' immobilized and depressed her. On the other hand, if Jana held shame and blame she was fragmented in a reactive and toxic state of rage and exploded often. If you hold on to hate, there is no medicine. Letting go of this virulent agitation allowed her to forgive, move past the pain and embrace the present moment.
"When Jana was able to acknowledge her pain and hold it in awareness she expanded in wisdom and ability to take action. She needed to express her feelings over time in order to heal. Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting. It helped that Jana's husband worked hard at the relationship and took responsibility for his actions. Forgive but do not forget the lessons of the pain. Forgiveness helps us grow in wisdom and the ability to love."
There is a power that comes from forgiving. It is a healing power. Lisa Rae Preston, homeschooling expert, calls it "releasing the captive." Lisa says, "The pain of our own suffering and desire for justice can create a formidable prison. Forgiveness dissolves the doors to that prison. It does not involve the embracing of an abuser nor does it stamp a trivial 'its okay' on the situation. When we've suffered at the hands of another, we believe we have every right to justice. There's a desire to get folks on our side, to help them see how horribly we've been betrayed. These desires may be 100 percent justifiable, but only increase our pain. We've already felt dashed to pieces on the inside. Who wants more hurt?
"The key to experiencing freedom involves traveling through the process of forgiveness. No matter how agonizing at first -- this process leads to healing and freedom. It's that magic place where the person and situation loses the power to crush you, and you're totally free to move into your destiny without hindrance. This process may take months, and you may find yourself gritting your teeth and choosing to forgive dozens of times a day. But your resulting freedom and healing is worth every moment."
Being able to forgive can help your physical body. Dr. Neill Neill, alcoholism expert, says, "Your ability to forgive brings profound benefits to your health and well being. Forgiveness bestows emotional, physical and spiritual benefits on the one who forgives."
Forgiveness is the rainbow that comes at the end of a storm. It brings peace and hope that tomorrow is another day and there are beautiful things in this world to be grateful for!
Keywords: power of forgiveness, forgiving, how to forgive, to forgive, forgiveness, letting go, forgiving others, global forgiveness day
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Letting Go - The Power of Forgiveness: In Honor of Global Forgiveness Day